Communicating After Death

I’ve been receiving frequent questions recently from people who are wondering if their loved ones who have passed way into the spiritual realm react to the hardships of life in the same way those of us who are still living do.

But how could that be? They have moved on into a different realm. And they are different now, too.

Here are some of the specific comments and questions I’ve heard over the last few months:

  • One friend commented about her son who had died, “I can’t imagine how he’s stewing in spirit about what’s been going on!”
  • Another friend, this one very spiritual, asked me, “Kristin, do you think my sister is offended about our aunt who didn’t come to her funeral? I mean, is she upset?”
  • A colleague forwarded this question to me that was posted on a suicide support website: “My friend had transgender feelings towards the end of her life. Does anyone know which gender that person is now?”
  • After a recent reading, I had a client exclaim, “I am shocked that she didn’t say more about what’s been happening with her children since she died.”
  • Finally, it’s very common for people to pose this query to me on social media, “Is my child who passed growing up in spirit?”

Before we start addressing those specific questions, let’s back up get acquainted with the big picture.

A teacher I studied with once said, “The Soul is unborn, so it can not die.” Among mediums, we often say, “We don’t have souls. We are souls. We’re just having human experiences for now.”

Human beings are physical bodies that experience limits and rules that are imposed by the physical world. When a person dies, that person sheds their physical body, along with all of the limitations that were inherent in it. It makes total sense that we still see them as a physical being with a body, because that is how we saw them, and knew them, and loved them. But they no longer have the physical body, and that’s definitely an improvement.

I asked this question once as a poll social media: “At death, is our soul enlightened?”

People replied “Yes” in an overwhelming proportion. This is totally consistent with my own experience while giving readings as a professional medium. I have never made a connection with a soul that communicated anything to the contrary.

So in my own opinion, at death we become enlightened regarding what the purpose of our life was, how others were affected by our actions, and to the “how” and “why” behind the development of certain situations. We are then able to see their purposes, and we are able to release the judgments we may have held about them.

So, where does that leave souls when it comes to their opinions on what those living are doing? Specifically, could a mother who died be upset that her children had fights over her belongings after her death? Remember, she couldn’t take things with her, so the things were not significant to her at the end. But she is certainly aware of the struggle her children face from being attached to material things, and she is able to see that they are in the process of learning lessons about loosening their grip on those things.

Or, could someone be hurt about certain people not coming to their funeral? I don’t think so. The person who died is now aware of the spiritual struggles that the people who didn’t come are going through. The person who died will much more likely have compassion for those people  than to be hurt over it.

And, the gender question…are people male or female in the spiritual realm? The way I’ve come to see it is that “male” or “female” are purely physical attributes: it’s something a body is. Souls are not physical, so they are not male or female. If you form a connection with this soul through a medium, that soul will present to you in a way for you to recognize. That could be either male or female.

Finally, do children grow up in the spiritual realm? As a spirit with no physical body, a six-year-old who died is not ever going to be six feet tall. More important than the body is that the child’s spirit is still growing. That’s not true only for children. Its true for all of us, whether body or spirit. None of us ever stops learning. When we are reunited with our loved ones, we will recognize each other. The physical chasm that separated you will be gone, and you will be joined by deep and sacred connections.

When you set up a reading with a medium, the purpose and goal is to validate to you that your loved one who passed is still in touch with you and your life. You seek proof that the soul survived the death of the body.

Try looking at a reading in more concrete terms. Picture a deep swimming pool with many items at the bottom. You take a breath, dive in and expend all your energy to reach bottom and gather up what you can. When you run out of breath, you return to the surface and see what you brought up. For the medium, a reading with a client is like that dive into the pool. The medium’s intent is to gather as much information as possible for you.

But a reading does not provide an opportunity for loved ones who have passed to share their opinions about the choices the living are making back here in the physical world. Your loved ones are aware of your issues and may offer you insight, but you may not receive direct validation in any one reading. Or, you may receive varying validations from different mediums.

It all depends on what information the medium is able to gather at the time of the reading. The information gathered may be what you think is of prime importance, or it may not be.

I always approach my teaching grieving people about communication with spirits in a gentle way. This is important to do when someone is hurting. But there’s one issue about which it’s important to be more straightforward: People who have died are no longer bound by the rules of the physical world. They are no longer fighting to keep a body alive, so the rules of “survival of the fittest” don’t apply to them. Their mind and their soul are free from that fight, and they are free to gain perspective in ways that the living cannot.

I hope this article answered some of your questions the peace of our loved ones who have passed. They communicate with us to show their love and support for us as we continue the often difficult processes involved in the human experience.

We will be happy to hear your thoughts

Leave a reply