Maybe you dumped your man, or he dumped you but at the time you felt that it was a necessary breakup. It was something you realized, and you knew at the time that you needed something different, something better.
But not that time has settled in, and you are full of emotion, you find yourself missing him and missing having him close to you. This is a normal feeling for people that go through broken relationships. It is not abnormal to have a broken heart and to feel regret or even sadness.
People often find that they both hate and love their ex after a breakup, and you might even be someone that feels that they have to get their ex back. But the question you have to ask yourself is if it is worth it to get back into the relationship.
Why Do You Want to Rekindle That Relationship?
Going through a breakup is hard and it can cause you to have many different emotions such as anger, sadness, hurt and more. If you are missing your ex, you need to figure out if you are really missing him or if you just don’t like being single.
Look at all of the things that went wrong in the relationship that caused you to want to breakup in the first place. If you had to do it all over again the same way, would you want that? Find out the pros and cons of your relationship before going any further.
How Do You and Your Ex Get Along Now?
Do you have your ex still in your life and you find yourself texting and talking to him often? Do you spend time together just as friends? Are you friendly and kind when you are together? On the other hand, do you act crazy and get mad when he is around, or does he put you down when he messages you?
Maybe your ex is even going as far as ignoring you and making it impossible for you to make amends. Have you decided to take space from him and not put yourself in the position again? Are you both single and are either of you dating other people? If he is still single and he hasn’t met someone, chances are he might be waiting to see where things go with you.
What Does Your Heart Say About Him?
Think about your relationship in the past and ask yourself these things:
- Would you want to go back to the same relationship?
- Was your relationship happy and peaceful?
- Did your man make you feel loved and protected?
- Did he make you desire him and bring life into your relationship?
- Did he make you feel scared or confused?
- Were you stressed out most of the time you were with him?
- Did he talk to you in a positive way?
- Did he belittle you or put you down?
When we breakup with someone there are usually big reasons to end a relationship. Maybe there was drama in your relationship that you miss because it was something familiar even if it wasn’t healthy.
Think about your ex and see what kind of feelings that you have when you think of him. Do you miss who he is and how he treated you or do you just miss being in a relationship?
Why Did the Relationship Come to an End?
When you ended the relationship was it a bad breakup or did you feel that it was something that was beneficial for both of you? Were you caring and loving or full of hurt and anger?
Was everything said that needed to be said and did the breakup get heated and mean things said? Maybe you ended the relationship without really thinking things through and now you regret it.
But, if you are early in the breakup and you are just having feelings because of feeling lonely, you need to separate the pain of your heart with your mind and find out what really went wrong and if it is healthy for you to be in the relationship and be clear on why you broke up with your partner.
Why Did the Breakup Happen?
Once you breakup with someone you love, you will have different emotions. You have to figure out why the breakup happened and be honest. Think about the reasons behind the breakup and what you are feeling in the present. Ask yourself these things:
- Did you fight a lot or was there too many misunderstandings?
- Did you or him not want to commit to teach other?
- Did his lack of commitment hurt you and make the relationship seem to not go anywhere?
- Did one of you think that there was something better by being single?
- Did being single seem attractive?
- Did you or him find someone else that you wanted to be with?
- Was your boyfriend attracted to other women/
- Was there a break of trust in the breakup?
Why Women Want to Get Back with Their Exes
There are many reasons why women want to get back with there exes and here are a few of them:
- You feel that you cannot live without him: You don’t want to be single, and you feel that you are codependent in the relationship. He is not meant to hide you from your life but to enjoy life with you and experience good things together.
- You are afraid you will always be single: There are so many single people in the world that are looking for love just like you are. Put yourself out there and you can find someone that makes you happy.
- You don’t want to be single: Being single is hard after a breakup and you have to find ways to put your happiness ahead of being single. Find a hobby and stay busy with things.
Be Honest About the Relationship
You have to be honest about the breakup. You need to ask yourself the real reasons the breakup happened and if you want to really get back together.
Maybe your emotions are based on being afraid of being single or feeling lonely. Look back at your relationship and ask yourself these things:
- What were the good things about your relationship that makes you miss it?
- Did you breakup without thinking it over or over a misunderstanding?
- Are you strong enough in your emotions to work things back out with your ex?
- Would you be happy if you met someone new?
- Did your argument end in something that can or cannot be repaired?
- Do you have the same values and beliefs as your ex?
- Can you see yourself in the same relationship years from now?
Does He Want You Back?
Do you wonder if your ex misses you like you miss him? Do you think about him and wonder if he is thinking about you? No matter who ended the relationship, breaking up can be heartbreaking and there are many emotions that come with it.
You might feel like you made a mistake by breaking up with him and you might wonder how he feels about it. You have to decide what you want and what you need and if your ex was even giving you these things.
The more clearly you look at your past relationship, the more you can see if you would want to be in that relationship or not. Stop living in your emotions of hate and anger and thinking bad about your ex, if you do and focus on living your life in a happy way.
Being Connected to Others
Everyone wants to be connected to others and they want to have this deep connection that makes them feel happy and alive. It is hard to feel this when we are single or when we are alone, but it can be something we find.
People sometimes want to reconnect in a relationship because they feel alone and feel sad but once they learn to love themselves and find out that life isn’t bad as a single person, they change their mind.
Why Would Your Ex Come Back to You?
There are some reasons that your ex might want to come back to you such as:
- He loved being in a relationship with you.
- Your love was important, and the relationship was meant to be: He might compare his new relationships with you and feel that he needs to be back with you.
- He feels that he was lucky when he met you.
- He misses you and remembers you.
- In the time he was away from you he realized that he misses and regrets the relationship ending.
- He wants to know that you are okay and happy.
- He cares about you even if he hurt you.
- He is dealing with the same emotions that you are but still cares about you over other people.
- He has changed and wants to be more romantic.
Why Your Ex Might Not Come Back to You
There are also some reasons that your ex might not want to come back to you such as:
- He loves the single life.
- He feels free when he is single.
- He can get intimate with other people without the commitment.
- He enjoys hanging out with his friends.
- His friends tell him to move on.
- He has moved on with another person.
- He met someone new: He has focused on a new life without you and has met someone else that makes him happy without the negativity.
How to Get Your Ex Back
If you are the one that broke up with your ex and you want to get him back, you need to act fast. You need to first make sure that you want to be back in the relationship and pay attention to what your gut is telling you.
Be calm and put him at the top of your list but if he doesn’t come back to you then think of this as a learning lesson in life. This can help you to grow and become a better person.
If you want to fix things with your ex, here are some things that you can do:
- Give it time before you try to reconnect with him: He is probably upset and angry at you, especially if it ended bad. He most likely feels rejected and needs time to heal. Focus on the emotions that he is probably having and think about what would happen if you got back into the relationship with him.
- Picture a new life together with him in the relationship that you always wanted.
- Take time before you contact him: You hurt him, and you need to allow him to work through his feelings. You need to wait up to three weeks before you contact him unless he contacts you first. You can even wait and let him come back to you.
- Doing a no contact means that you don’t call, text, look at his social media or have any kind of contact with him at all.
- Find out how he is feeling: If you haven’t heard from him for three weeks then you can contact him. Find out if he is upset with you by texting him. If he is upset, he might not respond but if he is friendly, talk to him. Share a positive memory about your relationship and try to talk to him in a peaceful and happy way.
- Have a face-to-face meeting with him: Once you talk to him and he is friendly, suggest that you meet up for lunch. Make sure that this is casual, and you don’t put pressure on things. You need to not bring up the past and just keep the energy positive.
- Start building trust again: You can start building trust with him by texting him. Be patient because this takes time. He will need to build trust and so will you. He will be less secure than he was before and so you really have to be open with communication. Communicating with him will either bring you together or show you that you need to move on.
- Start new routines: As you begin to spend more time together, don’t go back to things of the past. Start doing new things together and create new memories.
- Talk about it: You need to talk about what you can do to make this round better. Figure out how you can connect better and how you can solve past issues.
- Celebrate each other: Once you reconnect, celebrate this. This is a powerful thing and can be a second chance. Know that you have differences and be humble. Show each other that you value one another and that you care about each other. Talk about things that are important to you.
Will He Come Back?
No one knows what will happen once you go through a breakup. It is hard to tell if he will come back and reconnect with you or if he wants to move on. We never know what is going to happen until we try.
Allow new love to come into your life and be open to changes. You might get back with your ex but if you don’t then your life isn’t over. Heartbreak is hard but it is part of the journey of love.
Learn from Life
Take time to learn from your breakup. There are feelings that go with a breakup that can help you to grow and help you to know yourself even more. Look at what is going on and get rid of the pain in your heart and learn to love others.
Breakups are hard and they can be terrible for your life. They are harder on some than others and if you are going through hard times, you have to learn to be open and to share things with people that you care about. Love people and love yourself enough to put yourself ahead in life.
When something ends, it can cause you to feel hurt and confused, especially if you feel wrong about it. Maybe you gave your all in the relationship and then it just seemed to end out of nowhere.
Breakups can teach us hard life lessons, but they can also help us to grow and to learn to be kind with ourselves. Don’t hide your emotions but embrace them and move forward.
Love Yourself the Most
After a breakup it can be hard to love yourself and to feel worthy of love. You are not worthless, and you have to learn about yourself even more. Just because this relationship didn’t work out it doesn’t mean that you are a failure at love.
Just because you met someone that didn’t value you, it doesn’t mean you don’t have value. You have worth and you need to embrace yourself.
